How to turn into a cat in real life!

I think that all I want is to turn into a cat in real life. Based on the number of searches for this, I am not alone! You, my crazy ones, are my clowder! So… what’s the plan? Magical incantation? So let’s talk about how to turn into a cat in real life!

Reasons why I want to be a cat:

Fangs and claws. I mean… Our human teeth and nails are pitiful by comparison. Besides, they’d just look cool, and we’d have more built-in protection!
That angry sound cats can make! Don’t you want to make that sound at some people? I know I do. Imagine it- someone annoys me and I could just reply with that sound. Or, maybe someone just walks up to me and thinks they should talk to me… that sound emits from me… they’d (hopefully) go away.
Agility and stealth! I mean who doesn’t want to be able to leap gracefully? We do have people who can come astoundingly close, like parkour athletes. I’m sure I’d be about the same as I am in my human form: an uncoordinated chonky cat.
I like cats a lot (obviously). They are more solitary by nature, so if we were all cats, that’d be cool.
Cats sleep a lot–What more can I say?

You see? All good reasons to learn how to be a cat in real life!

I am envious of a cat’s grace and agility!

Reasons to not be a cat:

I would have trouble using all the human things like doorknobs. My cat knows how to turn the doorknob, but she can’t- her paws just aren’t shaped right. Maybe I need to be a polydactyl cat.
I enjoy modern plumbing, and I don’t want to use a litter box. We kind of did in the olden days- chamber pots, anyone? but I’m happy that we don’t need to do that now.
I really don’t like fish all that much, so that’s a strike against me.
I couldn’t eat a mouse–that’s assuming I could ever catch one, to begin with, but I do think that I could see myself fascinated by yarn and batting bottle lids under chairs; that would be the extent of my hunting skills.

The solution for how to turn into a cat in real life, as best I can see it, is to become a sort of anthropomorphic cat. Then I’d just be really bizarre. I’m sure actual cats would be afraid of me!

In order to be able to continue to use my human conveniences, it seems that I’d have to become some sort of anthropomorphic cat, so how’s that going to work out? Finding a way to shapeshift at will would be ideal! Otherwise, maybe I don’t want to learn how to be a cat in real life. So how can we understand and communicate with cats? I’ve decided that instead of learning how to be a cat in real life, I must follow instructions on how to make cat friends!

My answer to the problem: How to make cat friends

I’m a person who avoids most humans. Someone starts showing me pictures of their kids, and I ask about the cat… When I am invited to a party and actually go, I find the room where the cats have been locked away. I could be happy as the pied piper of cats, so to do this, we have to learn how to think like a cat. There is a website called “Maddies Fund” that has free animal classes. It’s a great way to start! Visit here: https://www.maddiesfund.org/

How to learn to think like a cat without classes:

Observe cats! If you have a cat, just watch its behavior. Living with two or more cats? Watch how they interact with each other. Notice how they rub up against things, and how they watch the world around them. Can you tell what kind of mood your cat is in? Remember to ask questions when you observe your cat.
Read cat body language: They communicate through their body language, and unlike us, they. do this more so than with vocalizations. You can also look at body language charts. The tail position says everything! I’ll include some links at the bottom of the page!
Remember the wild: Cat’s still retain their natural instincts as predators, so their actions are often related to their instincts. Even your floof likes to practice using her murder-mitten boxing skills out of the instinct to be capable of self-defense.
Put yourself in their paws: Imagine how things in our human world would seem to your cat. If your cat is doing some behavior that you find annoying or strange, think about it from your cat’s perspective and try to figure out the reason. That’s essentially what training an animal consists of- just trying to communicate across species! I’ll give you an example- is your kitty dumping the food bowl to eat? If your bowl is a deep dish bowl, then it could be irritating your cat’s whiskers. You can read my post about whiskers here: https://toebeansandtales.com/sensitive-whiskers/
Read: It’s fun to learn from others. I love to read cat behavior articles. I find it very enjoyable to learn from the scientists! It’s also useful to read blogs and learn from the experience of others!
Consider individuality: Remember your cats are independent creatures- they each have their own charming quirks and personality.

Conclusion

I think the most important thing to remember is that just like us, cats can be influenced by so many things: genetics, environment, and even past experiences! If we can learn how to successfully communicate with cats, we may not turn into a cat in real life, but it’s probably the closest thing we can do!